More Reliable Than Your Ex: What Pokie RTPs Teach Us About Trust

The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall.

ABBA said it best, and the sentiment remains – in the game of love, there can often only be one winner. So why do we keep taking a chance on romance, even when the odds are repeatedly stacked against success?

The concept of love being a gamble isn’t new, and it’s arguably more true now than ever before. With dating apps making it easier to find, and subsequently ghost, new people all the time, is it any wonder that we’ve become apathetic when it comes to love?

The thing is, there are actually heaps of similarities between your last relationship and your last pokie session. We’d even go so far as to say that the pokies are probably…more reliable. A wild thought, but hear us out.

Pokies come with an RTP – a Return to Player percentage that mathematically dictates the outcome of the game. It might not be generous (looking at you, 88% pokies, we know you’re out there), but at least you know what you’re getting. And while we’re often warned that gambling is risky (it is), nobody talks enough about the odds that come with investing months into someone, only to find out they don’t believe in monogamy – but swear by their horoscope.

So, in a world full of red flags, unread messages, and emotionally unavailable situationships, maybe it’s time to ask: what can we learn about relationships from the pokies?

Why should you care about RTP?

RTP, or Return to Player, is an indication of how your spins are going to pay out on a particular pokie. Effectively, it tells you how much of your money you can expect to get back over time – an RTP of 96%, for example, means that you’ll win back $96 for every $100 wagered. It’s not a guarantee, it’s a mathematical average – and it’s the game’s way of saying ‘what you see is what you get’.

Now, imagine if your ex came with an RTP. Invest two years, and in return you’ll get…emotional baggage and that one hoodie they never came back to collect. Call us crazy, but we’d rather have the $96.

As a rating system, it’s pretty reliable. You can easily find the highest paying online pokies by checking their RTP – even the worst-paying pokies have the decency to publish their odds. Try getting that level of transparency from a dating profile. Hannah says she’s open to casual dating? She’s looking for marriage. Pete swears he’s 1.9m but insists you don’t wear heels on the date? Sure, sounds legit. If every potential date came with a transparency score, we bet there’d be a lot less ghosting and a lot more getting together.

When it comes to trust, the pokies let you know where you stand. They might rinse your wallet, but they won’t insist you’re the only one playing with them while they’re doing it.

Love Lies v Pokie Promises: Where To Put Your Trust

So, you know that the RTP can give you a great insight into what you can expect from a pokie. And, yes, we’ve indulged in a couple of jokes about the fickle nature of love. But there’s truth to what we’re saying – you can trust us on that.

Here’s the thing – the pokies aren’t emotionally complex. If there’s an RTP of 96%, it’s not gonna secretly slap you with an 88% behind your back. No hidden agendas, no mixed messages.

Now, compare that to real-life romance. Studies show that up to 60% of people admit to lying to their partner – and that’s just the ones who admit it. Let’s face it, if they’re lying to their partner, they’re not above lying to an anonymous survey.

Say what you want about online pokies – they’re not lying to you.

And let’s not forget the number one pet peeve of modern dating – the dreaded ghosting. Research shows that around 80% of people have been ghosted while dating, wasting time and effort and leaving them jaded and back to square one. With each spin of the pokie, you’re mathematically more likely to reach that RTP, not move away from it. The pokies might be expensive, but they won’t disappear or change the goalposts mid-spin.

At the end of the day, the business of love and the business of online gambling are both just that – businesses. The business model of Tinder isn’t really to find you a soulmate, it’s to keep you paying for more likes. Obviously, online casinos are also there to make money, but that’s the key – it’s obvious. It’s not sneaky, tricking you to spend more and more in the hopes that one of those matches will stick. The pokies are after your money – of course they are – but they’re upfront about it.

It’s also easier to check on a pokie before you commit – a quick search of the game title on a casino review website will get you all the info you need to know about whether to spend your time and money there (and if you’re looking for a reliable source of reviews, we volunteer!). Trying to find any objective intel on your potential dates, however, is much harder. You can scour their social media, but it’s still a highlight reel – you’re kind of going in blind, based only on what they want you to know.

So, if you’re looking for someone – or something – that actually does what it says it’s going to do, you might be better off with a pokie. It might break your bank, but it won’t break your trust.

The Course of RTP Never Did Run Smooth…

We know we’ve spent the last few minutes telling you how transparent the pokies are. And it’s all true. But before you start inviting Book of Dead over for a nightcap, let’s manage some expectations. Because, while it’s a breath of fresh air to know what to expect, it’s important to remember that an RTP isn’t a guarantee of a good time.

RTP isn’t a promise, it’s an equation. A long-term average that gives you an idea of what to expect, but it’s not set in stone. If you put $100 into a 96% pokie, you won’t definitely come out with $96 – could be more, could be less. Obviously, we’re all hoping for more, but you’re at the mercy of the pokie powers that be.

That’s where the idea of volatility comes in – the pokie equivalent of a mood swing. We all know that high-volatility ex, the one that went hot and cold at a moment’s notice, giving you the best night of your life then ghosting you for weeks. It’s the same with the pokies, where they’ll offer you the big wins when they happen, but they’ll be few and far between. And the dependable partner your mum loved but who thought the height of spontaneity was splashing out for extra guac on their burrito? That’s your classic low-volatility pokie.

So if you prefer the rollercoaster ride of high volatility, or a more steady-paced low-volatility pokie, you have all the information going in.

The Thrill of the Chase

No love story – or pokie session – comes without a little hope. In pokies, it’s in the promise of the bonus rounds, the multipliers and the special features. In dating, it’s those little milestones that make you feel like you’ve reached a new level of uncharted territory. He left a toothbrush at yours, because it’s ‘just easier’ this way. She invited you to brunch with her friends. The small things that keep you invested, edging closer and closer to the final goal of the romantic – or financial – jackpot.

In both scenarios, you’re focusing on this hope to keep you going – it’s all part of the chase. You know the bonus round is there – you’ve read the reviews, you’ve seen the screenshots. But you’re 150 spins in and those scatter symbols just aren’t landing, and you start to wonder if it’s all just a myth. Just like you know there are genuine people out there looking for love, but every terrible date feels like two steps back.

And when you feel the high of that elusive bonus, or the date that makes you want to take them home to meet your parents, all the chase feels worth it. That’s what keeps us going back for more, right?

Don’t Go Wasting Your Emotion…

Yes, this is our second ABBA reference – and we’re not sorry. But really, it’s pretty clear that the pokies can teach us a lot about trust in romantic relationships. It comes down to the same three things: risk, hope, and the thrill of the possibilities. And the way pokies approach this – with clarity and transparency – can help us understand what to look out for in a new partner.

When you’re looking for love, be honest. Be upfront. Know your limits. But also, let yourself get swept up in the experience. It’s a thrill for a reason, and you never know – play your cards right, and you just might hit the jackpot.

Met the love of your life in the casino? Bonded over blackjack? We’d love to hear your story. Get in touch at [email protected] and tell us all about it!